33 Of The Best Responses To “Tell Me You’re From Melbourne Without Telling Me You’re From Melbourne”

Nicole de Souza Nicole de Souza - Staff Writer


The comments section was on fire.

Last week, our Facebook team thought we’d have a bit of fun. We asked you to tell us you’re from Melbourne without telling us you’re from Melbourne. We weren’t sure if people would respond or if it would crash like a truck hitting Montague Street Bridge, but boy you guys sure delivered. It seems like there’s a never-ending list of ways for Melburnians to identify themselves. Of course, there were a lot of lockdown and mask comments (is everyone doing ok?), but there was some good coffee and fashion jibes in there too. In no particular order, here are your best answers.


Tell me you’re from Melbourne without telling me you’re from Melbourne.

  1. “Oh, well, you know, I was *born* in Perth, but I haven’t been back in aaaages. Too hot, you know? Anyway, all my friends followed me here.”
  2. Posting “where’s your mask” on people’s social media pics, even if they are interstate.
  3. I know a great place in Brunswick where I can get the best long macchiato.
  4. I occasionally hang out at home for three months straight.
  5. Just pulling over to the left to turn right.
  6. I have pants in 5 shades of black….
  7. I’m crossing the road when I come across a truck firmly wedged under a bridge and people are driving past, waving and cheering and congratulating the driver.
  8. Meet me under the clocks.
  9. Potato cakes, not potato scallops!
  10. I feel guilty when I buy toilet paper, even if I really need it.
  11. North Face, a contentious brand that can determine the outlook for 5 million residents.
  12. Hearing “Is everybody ready” every morning for months on end.
  13. Sometimes I get up to some illegal activity & take my bins out WITHOUT a mask 😏
  14. I own a $600 North Face jacket to stand in line for 40 minutes at a bakery for a $9 croissant.
  15. What time is today’s Covid update press conference?
  16. “Attention customers, the 4:15 Flinders Street train has been delayed and is now expected in 34 minutes.”
  17. I’m high on the hill looking over the bridge to the MCG…
  18. Sydney is the Aldi version of us.
  19. “Are we right to go”
  20. I have a QR code tattooed on my head for contact tracing purposes.
  21. I know where to find 7 types of coffee, a river, a dog park, 20 types of take away and the organic grocers, all within my 5K.
  22. Need a PhD to understand a parking sign.
  23. I like to protest lockdown 2 days before lockdown is ending, thus extending lockdown. Then I’ll protest about lockdown being extended. I’m so woke.
  24. 25 km is not very far.
  25. You have to top up your public transport card 2 hours in advance. Doing it at any tram stop or on the tram is impossible 🤦‍♀️
  26. I always carry sunglasses and a jumper.
  27. What footy team do you barrack for?
  28. My mates came over for a few bevies last night; three neighbours called the police.
  29. Famously large dim sims and hot jam ball donuts.
  30. Wanna go to revs?
  31. See you at the G.
  32. I leave the house with my mask, jacket, beanie, umbrella and sunglasses 😎 ☀️ 🌧 💨 🥶

 And of course…

33. Get on the beers.

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